CRAZY

I’ve been on a sabbatical.

Five years ago, I was feeling “off”. More tired than usual, having nightsweats, and struggling to remember even simple things I was supposed to do. I decided to go to the doctor and see if something was wrong.

She ordered a bunch of bloodwork.

“Everything’s normal. Looks great!”, she told me.

I walked to the car feeling a little stupid for my complaints. What was I doing?

I guess this was just me getting older.

Life went on, and I found myself feeling more and more…crazy. I could NOT recall words, at least not when I needed them. I felt tired ALL THE TIME. I was angry and irritated at—well, at everyone. I got one frozen shoulder in 2023, and another one in 2025. Friends told me these were signs of perimenopause or menopause, but those “normal” blood tests were always in the back of my mind. I didn’t go to the doctor. I withdrew. I felt so stupid. I watched myself become a bit of a joke in my own family. Having conversations with my kids turned into a game of can-you-guess-the-word-mom-can’t-remember?

I felt so hot at night my husband said it was like sleeping next to an oven. 😳 And let’s be honest—who was sleeping anymore? It wasn’t me. ME! One of my greatest superpowers had always been sleeping…falling asleep and staying asleep were my gold medal events. No longer. I hardly recognized myself.

I was CRAZY.

Then, with some divine intervention, I walked into my son’s orchestra concert and saw my OB/GYN from years before…the one who actually delivered the baby now playing the cello. I sat next to her and we began chatting. I don’t remember what she asked, but I couldn’t stop the words. All the crazy that had been my existence spilled out.

“Holly, you need hormones. Call my office.”

In that moment, something clicked for me. I believed her, not just because she had been my doctor, but because she was a trusted friend.

I called her office.

I saw her in a matter of weeks. She explained how normal bloodwork isn’t ever the whole picture, and that symptoms also need to be considered. The relief I felt was overwhelming. I started hormone replacement therapy and finally feel like myself again.

HALLELUJAH!!

I write about this because it was ridiculous how long I felt terrible. There is no need to replicate my experience. Find a doctor who knows her stuff and will also listen to you. Then stick with her. Take it from me—there are so many signs of aging, but crazy doesn’t have to be one of them.

Thank goodness.🤪🤪