The Vibe

A few years ago, one of my daughters got invited to a birthday party. It had all the usual information on it, but at the bottom there was an additional message:

“Make sure to wear green!”

I was surprised. Was this a birthday party or a football game?

My daughter explained that this was very typical. Parties came with dress codes so the pictures would look just perfect.

FOR THE LOVE.

How narcissistic have we become?! Do the guests at your event need to match your vibe to be welcome? Does the look of the photograph matter more than the people in attendance? Are the people in your life friends or simply minions??

Seriously—stop the madness.

As a human race, there are lots of things that unify us, but how we LOOK is not a great one. When I was 14, we took a family picture. The instructions we had were to dress up, like Sunday dress. I picked a skirt and sweater matching set that I LOVED. The fit was just right, and the pastel colors complemented my skin. I felt great, even with my early 90s big hair and bangs. My sister wore burgundy red, and so did my mom. Frankly, the picture was a hodge podge of colors, but the unifying thread was that we were a family.

It absolutely worked.

When I was a kid, Halloween was the ultimate night of self-expression. You could dress up and be whomever you wanted to be! Man, I loved Halloween. I ADORED Cyndi Lauper (and getting to wear my mom’s costume jewelry!), so I became Cyndi for three Halloweens. THREE! I can’t remember what any of my friends were for those Halloweens, but I know we didn’t match. Our costumes didn’t vibe at all, but we were all unified by the holiday, Halloween!

Once again, it just worked.

There is a phrase in the Bible I love that says our hearts might be “…knit together in love…” I’m not a knitter myself, but I am a quilter. One of my favorite things about quilts is how they bring together a bunch of colors and patterns, sometimes ones that seem to clash with one another, and become a beautiful masterpiece of art. The most boring quilt in the world would be one where the colors and patterns are the SAME. No one wants that.

I think we need to remember—and teach our kids—that parties are fun because it’s a gathering of friends, of people you adore. That should be the unifying thread. Stop spending so much time worried about how your pictures will turn out. The vibe you are trying to curate by controlling how your guests look is arrogant—and missing the point. None of us need minions running around, mimicking our every move. And we REALLY shouldn’t become minions, trying to copy our favorite influencer.

Aren’t you tired?

Instead, let’s all knit quilt our very unique, very individual, hearts together in love.

And then take a posed perfect aesthetic genuine picture.

It will absolutely work.