Rex Kwon Do
I went to my first Dave Matthews Band concert when I was 19. I have been to many more of their concerts since then. A few band members have come and gone, but they are still my favorite band ever. Love, love them.We went to the DMB concert this year in May. There are a few things that I have come to expect:
- people will smoke pot. They always do.
- everyone around us drinks. I don't really care, as long as no one spills their beer on me. That's gross.
- most people stand and dance the entire concert. Hallelujah for that! It's great and I love it.
This concert was different.We had great tickets, and I was so excited! We got to our seats and I realized the person in front of me was blocking my view. I switched places with Brian. MUCH better. The lights went down and music filled the air. Something was wrong. I turned to my left and immediately identified the problem.Rex Kwon Do.I was standing next to Rex Kwon Do. (If you don't know who I am talking about, go watch Napoleon Dynamite, and then come back and read this). The guy was huge, and busting out of his very, very form-fitted shirt. His appearance was not the problem, I assure you. But his size does matter in this story.He couldn't stay in his lane. At all. Basic concert manners dictate that every person's moving and shaking has to stay within his seat boundaries. Not this guy. He danced full out, with his gargantuan arms flailing all up in my business. He played air guitar, air keyboard (he especially loved the upper register right in front of me), air drums, air ANYTHING! Oh, he could play it all.He also sang along, which is fine. But he sang louder than Dave Matthews himself. LOUDER. And Dave had a microphone. It was unbelievable.He also spent much of his night clapping, but not with the beat of anything. He clapped the way you would to pump up your basketball team before the overtime started in the championship game. It was crazy. Then, he would yell things. Abnormal things."COME ON!""DAVE!"Come on? Who yells that at a concert? Did someone just get fouled? Dave? What was up with this guy?!I tried to stand big, to preserve my lane, but it was no use. His larger-than-life dancing spilled into my space. I moved forward so I wouldn't go home with a black eye. I wondered if anyone else was noticing Rex?Pretty soon, he left to get a drink. The people behind me leaned forward and said they were sorry I had to stand by him. I knew it! It wasn't just me! I soon learned that everyone around this guy was a bit thrown off by his weird behavior.Every time he left, I secretly hoped he would be gone for the night...but he always came back. Dang Rex Kwon Do. Toward the end of the night, I heard some strange noises, so I turned to look. Rex's girlfriend was dripping...dripping... from head to toe. His beer that he had been holding was empty.Whoa.This time they both left and didn't return. The concert ended, minus Rex Kwon Do. Despite the less-than-ideal circumstances, Dave Matthews Band did not disappoint. They were incredible, like always. I'm already looking forward to the next concert.There are so many fun things to see and do in this life. Let's go! But I'd like to offer a little advice. In the vein of school yearbooks everywhere...Be cool. Don't be Rex Kwon Do.
