The point of no return

Tucker needed a haircut last week. I am not a licensed cosmetologist, but I do own a set of clippers and a cape...so I went ahead and cut his hair myself. This is not my first rodeo, however. I have cut my husband's and two boys' hair on and off for the past 23 years.

Still, it's not an ideal situation. Some haircuts turn out awesome, and some do not. My lack of knowledge and skills keeps me in the dark as to why this happens. I just hope for the best each time. I was feeling pretty good about this particular haircut for Tucker. The sides were blending pretty well, and my confidence was soaring.

"Mom, let's use the biggest guard for the top," he exclaimed.

I knew this was a bad idea. Tucker likes his hair short on the sides and long on top, and the biggest guard was quite short. I tried talking him out of it. I even showed him how much hair would get cut off. He was so sure of his decision.

I paused.

He insisted.

I put the biggest guard I owned on the clippers, and cut a tiny little section in the back.

"Tucker, this is so short. You aren't going to like this at all. Let's use the scissors," I said.

"Mom, just DO IT!"

Reluctantly, I moved in front of him, and turned the clippers on. I made the first pass from the top of his forehead to his crown. As I started on the second pass, Tucker freaked out.

"MOM! Please, stop! Please, please, just STOP! Don't do this!"

Um...

I turned the clippers off and looked into Tucker's tear-filled eyes. He was absolutely horrified. The tears streamed down his cheeks while he kept muttering, "please, no" almost under his breath. Whatever he had imagined in his mind was not what he saw in the mirror. I explained that I couldn't stop now. His decision had been made, and we had passed the point of no return. I had to keep going.

(And here, I must admit something: the biggest guard I have is an 8, but I thought I saw a 9. I grabbed that one and used it, not realizing til I was cleaning up that it was actually an upside down 6 guard. Whoops. I admitted my mistake to Tucker, and I have his forgiveness😂)

His hair was short. Really short. I went back with even shorter guards on the sides, trying to salvage what I could. In the end, Tucker was fine. He stopped crying and realized that he definitely likes his hair longer on top. Consolingly, I told him hair grows fast, and he’d be ok.

This experience has made me think a lot about decision-making. Sometimes we almost instantly regret a choice we've made, and we want to go back. We want to stop, mid-consequence, and choose differently. Of course, this is impossible. Filled with regret, we deny responsibility for our choices and look outwardly for others to blame.

This place is powerless and reactive. I don't love it here.

On the contrary, if we can accept responsibility for allof our choices, even the ones we regret, we are empowered. This is an amazing place to be. When we own our decisions, we have incredible power. Then, it doesn’t matter what is happening around us. We get to choose what we’ll do or say, and who we become.

And that is powerful.