And then you know

I love the show, Survivor. I have loved it from the beginning, simply because it is a real life display of how people relate to one another. It’s fascinating.

As the game goes on, and alliances form, the immunity challenges get more interesting. And then there is a competition when clarity comes. My favorite game involved hanging plates for each person, a ball to smash those plates, an immunity idol up for grabs, and a clear strategy. No more wondering. No more guessing. By the end, each competitor knew exactly where they stood in the game.

Survivor is so fun to watch on television.

It is less fun in real life.

No, I’m not stranded on an island with Jeff Probst trying to win a million dollars. (I wish!😁) And yet, there are situations that bring a whole lot of clarity. I’ve had several clarifying moments lately. The first one happened this summer.

SMASH!

One plate down. I guess I know where I stand. I don’t have to wonder how this friend feels about me anymore. I’m a little sad and try to rationalize things in my mind, mostly so I can feel better. I can do some serious mental gymnastics, so this is going well. But then I see the smashed plate on the floor, and I remember. UGH. No more gymnastics needed. I am not loving this clarity.

Life goes on and gets busy. My kids are back in school and sports and dance and all the things. One morning, I get to chat with another friend about life in general. The conversation was lovely. And then the shift. I didn’t even know I was playing a game, but clarity hit me squarely in the face.

SMASH!

Another plate. I hate this stupid game.

Last night, I went to bed angry annoyed disappointed frustrated? I don’t know. I just went to bed. Stop smashing my plates!!!!

🤪

But then, I woke up today with different energy.

Your life will have so many moments of clarity. Sometimes they come with self-reflection, and sometimes they come from others’ words and decisions:

• You aren’t good enough.

• You cannot come to this.

• We don’t have any room for you.

• You don’t belong here.

• You’re not a good fit.

And then you know. So what?

This is what i think. Clarity is fleeting—a moment. It is a gift, and the only thing you can do with clarity is make a decision. Am I going to believe the friend/coach/teacher/mentor who said I’m not good enough and be done? Game over? Am I going to let other people and their choices be in charge of how I think about myself or feel?? You certainly can…but I don’t recommend it.

Instead, you can pivot. You can use that clarity and decide how you want to move forward. Do you want to practice more? Adopt an attitude of gratitude? Be gracious?Change direction completely? Change direction slightly? Create a new gameplan? Strategize differently? Make new friends? Be a better friend?

Not of this is easy, by the way. Rejection hurts. Change is uncomfortable. Believing what others say about us hurts. Deciding NOT to believe what others say about us is equally as hard.

Regardless, like Survivor, situations happen in life and then you know.

Clarity.

Clarity is a gift. Don’t waste it.